Your secret lover

Your secret lover
“it’s been six months I have removed a pair,
curtains from my very big window since I saw,
the star on the earth without any kind of stair,
from the sky which gleams at day and can draw,

joy in my heart though it’s 30/35 meters away,
from me and I can see it from my very huge,
window whenever it comes out at a day,
umm, I was in illusion and made me confuse,

that the stars shine only in the sky at night,
but all my illusion and confusion have been,
hidden like clouds and I have realized right,
and real fact that the star can also be seen,

on the earth since I saw you 6 months ago,
yes dear, the star is you who has filled deep,
joy in my heart but I’m still unable to know,
anything about you and I always gaze/peep,

at you when you come out of your rooms
and on your yard as well as the strong,
brick of wall, yes dear your presence blooms,
me like roses which are smiling along,

with wind in front of your white and brown,
home even other plants also receive fresh,
wind which is coming from that hill/town,
birds also come here to reduce my stress,

through their song, I see these from inside,
room from my window but I always try,
to keep my mind focused and not to ride,
it any except book and writing poetry,

yes I’m a struggling poet so no one knows,
me but I’m sure the entire world will,
know me as a great poet, in fact I get dose,
of confidence from you and I really feel,

happy though my mind gets diverted and,
lost in you, my mind gets silent as dark,
night, I fell so nervous that I’m in the land,
of grave as my breath slows due to mark,

joy in my heart when my eyes see you while,
you are sitting on your wall and small yard,
yes, I forget everything when I see your smile,
my heart always climbs joy in your regard,

and love though you are 30 meters far,
from me, I haven’t met you closely my dear,
by the way I don’t know when you are,
seen in my eyes for the first time but clear,

and deep memories have been in my neat,
heart though I don’t know how it happened like,
films, your memories won’t be on street,
from my heart as they will try to make me hike,

on ways of success though my pure,
heart has become a prisoner of you and your,
memories, it’s fine, I’m ready to endure,
my entire life in cage of yours with much more,

joy, yes dear I’m able to collect much bliss,
since I saw you and my heart is in your cage,
but I don’t want to be free as I get peace,
in my mind though my eyes have no courage,

to see you as I sink in shyness and blush,
because you are the most beautiful,
girl across the world who only can rush,
my heart at a speed of train and cool,

wind, yes I’m a 24 year idiot whom I have,
given you my heart though I haven’t met,
you, my breath touches the sky as a wave,
of ocean, yes my eyes always grow great,

desire to only look at the window more than,
books and poems in hope of seeing cute,
angel, your presence gives bliss to this man,
but my heart becomes much sad and mute,

when you don’t appear and hide like many,
stars in the thick clouds and I feel very sad,
and without seeing you I can’t spend any,
seconds, time is running slowly without glad,

mood,, but when I see you for a moment,
I feel my life is running fast without break,
so I wish that death may not let me absent,
from here, I wish to breathe from my neck,

forever because I don’t want to die very soon,
I just want to see you forever unless,
you get disappeared from me like the moon,
I get sunk deeply in you seeing face,

of yours, I wish I were able to forget blink,
my eyes as I just want to keep,
seeing you without losing time as I sink,
in you and smile comes to lip,

of mine though I forget everything around,
me and myself since my heart became,
a slave of your breath which cures my wound,
though I don’t know you except the name,

of yours, I always get engrossed in thought,
of yours, you always wander in my mind,
and free joy comes without being brought,
yes I see you everywhere like cold wind,

though I close my eyes, what’s wrong,
with me, why I have fallen in your love,
why I’m stopped in you with strong,
feelings, why I always try to climb rope,

of joy when I see you, I’m not a well,
poet so I don’t know how to tell,
how much beautiful you are in my eyes,
though you are far, I wish to yell,
with joy but I’m silent and can’t raise voice,
because you are beautiful like star of skies,

who can charm my heart like gleam,
of candles, by the way my eyes get excited,
and I feel happy as if I saw cute dream,
when I see your very long hair and I get,

bliss, yes I’m a big fan of your long and silky,
hair, you are also as slim as your thin,
and long hair, I look at it more than your milky,
face/smile when you come out to clean,

and comb your long hair with your hand,
my heart is in confusion with some sadness,
how you care your hair which reaches land,
I’m really worried, my heart carries stress,

I know I’m far from you so can’t take care,
of you but I request you to comb the hair,

very slowly else I may receive much pain,
more than you get hurt, yes this is neat,
love for you, my dear my love has no stain,
by the way I always turn my face and teeth,

when you splash water after washing long,
hair though I know that it will not reach,
me and I won’t be wet though mild and strong,
wind tries to send me splashes with bliss,

anyway seeing you has become,
a habit whatever you do there,
I just have desires to see you from,
my eyes though you can’t be here,

I know there are many people in your house,
they also come out and sit on your small,
yard/wall so my joy gets hidden like mouse,
as I don’t want they come out from hall,

to enjoy fresh wind as I don’t wish to keep,
yard busy, I just want you sit there without,
any obstacles so that my eyes can peep,
at you, yes my dear, my eyes hardly get out,

of focus and get tired of gazing at,
you as you are the apple of my small fresh,
eyes, yes dear I love you so much that,
no words describe it, you are a cute mistress,

yes dear, my eyes don’t want you to go away,
my heart collects fear when you hide,
I see darkness though the sun comes at day,
I don’t know why I always get hurt inside,

my eyes, I just want to see you forever,
and trillions of years without losing a second,
as my heart grabs much fear whenever,
you enter the room, don’t know why the fond,

of mine has been swimming like a fish,
in your love and the memories which have been,
in my mind and my every breath of bliss,
but I don’t know how to reach the edge of clean,

river of life without you and any boat or ship,
but I don’t mean to say I need your hand,
I just want your presence and smile of lip,
though you are far, I can reach any land,

or destiny as you are courage of my life,
though I meet many people across the world,
in my heart you will be living as a wife,
unless I take last breath, my love won’t be old,

which I have grown in my innocent,
heart, yes my dear wife no one takes your place,
and can adorn your heart with paint,
of love except me though I haven’t seen your face,

closely, I don’t have any details only good,
name of yours, in fact I had a big dream,
to know your name, I was in a sad mood,
as I hadn’t known your name and gleam,

of wish had been taking my sleep,
for 4 months, yes I had been very restless,
but two month ago inside my deep,
heart I carried courage with blushing face,

asked my sister about your beautiful,
name and my heart had forgotten to take,
breath, joy was walking in my cool,
and nervous mind, my body was in a shake,

so my sister had made questions and made,
me tell her everything but I was very quiet,
I didn’t speak a word but she look at my red,
eyes and blushing face like the moon of night,

and she had understood very well,
that her innocent brother had become a great,
slave in your love so I’m now fail,
her to stop teasing me and stopping my breath,

by calling your name when I sit outside,
my balcony in the evening, yes I become,
very nervous, that time I wish to ride,
myself to room as I can’t be in this storm,

though I can’t see any wind from west,
I don’t want you let you know my chaste,

feelings which are in my heart as a sweet,
gift as I have trillions of problem in my life,
so I can’t tell you nothing as I’m a street,
of thorn though I hope I will remove strife,

after being a poet, I will still have mass,
of problems so I will be silent and won’t say,
about my feelings to you my dear as,
my life is dark and I cannot give you a day,

of sunny because you are the wonderful,
star who is the reason to enjoy some light,
and my heart as well as my life gets cool,
joy in searching for gleam though I’m night,

and you are far like star, yes you are the most,
precious star of mine but I can understand,
I shall not raise any illusive wish in my crust,
of heart that I can get the star on my land,

and in my life from the sky, I can just receive,
bliss to see it from the earth so I collect,
much joy by just seeing you, I’m able to achieve,
bundle of bliss from my heart I respect,

and love you so much, by the way I’m a very,
introvert man who always loves to spend,
much time in my room as I get much merry,
to engross in the books poetry and blend,

of your memories but now when the hill,
gets very closer to the sun in the old,
evening I also sit at balcony to enjoy chill,
wind but it’s a lie which I have just told,

I sit out just to see you more clearly and try,
to come a meter near to you but I’m scared,
of you as I don’t want let you know about my,
sights are busy seeing you, I get blush of red,

though I see you secretly, you sit there,
much time to enjoy wind and that the best,
time gives me joy, you also look here,
sometimes but I move my face to the west,

though the cutest look isn’t for me,
and I pretend to be lost in my book,
but I don’t understand when you see,
around me, I always want to look,

at you more than it while sitting outside,
my balcony from 4pm to 7pm before,
the sun goes away complexly from wide,
sky, during this my heart gets in more,

nervous even my sister tries to do blast,
it by calling your name but I know that,
she is just joking to speed my breath fast,
she won’t put me in a trouble like a rat,

yes, I love evenings nowadays,
just because of your presence at your yard,
my heart goes on the joy of ways,
don’t know why I have become a die hard,

slave in your love, I have also brought,
my tears out while seeing you, yes those,
tears were very pure for your thought,
and memories, I cried but not in morose,

tears were more pure than very cold rain,
of the sky, my tears are the real evidence,
that I love you very much without any pain,
by the way when I get your close presence,

I get very nervous, I quiver, my busy mind,
sees darkness, my breath runs at a speed,
of train and for a while I become like a blind,
man when I see you going like a splendid,

star from just 20 meters away through gate,
of mine, I can see you closely, that time I feel,
abundant bliss, I enjoy it like a very good fate,
though it’s closed, 10 seconds are the will,

and joy, I wish I were able to stop,
the time for a while as I want to celebrate,
the time but I know it’s stupid hope,
I also see you returning with very great,

smiles but my heart gets cover in deep fear,
when I see you going with a bag, I get sad,
as last month my eyes hadn’t seen you dear,
yes, I hadn’t seen you for 6 days and had,

no choice to wait you, I was unable to write,
any poem and read a page of book,
I was unable to call the sleep at dark night,
I had become weak like a tiny brook,

I had lost all the joy from my hand/life,
but after 6 days when I see you again,
I had forgotten all my pain and strife,
from my heart, I had brought the rain,

of tears in my room due to much bliss,
and that time I realized I can’t take any breath,
without see you and I can’t get peace,
as I keep loving you as a wife even after death,

of mine though you get hidden from eyes,
of mine, I don’t know it’s good to grow,
a wish to meet you but I asked the skies,
and stars that I will make my heart glow,

if I spend 10 minutes with you I will feel so lucky that,
I spend trillions of lives by being your husband,
I just have a desire to see you closely and look at,
your smiles and hair without touching from hand,

of mine, I heard you wear Bindi on forehead,
I want to see it but I know I have no right,
to see these wishes, by the way on my bed,
I have already met you in dream at night,

yes, I usually see you in my dream,
but every time I saw you I was very silent,
but my innocent heart gathers gleam,
of joy, thank you for saving me from lament,

you are the secret of my courage and dose,
of joy so that I love you very much as a slave,
of yours but I won’t tell you by giving a rose,
let me be your secret lover until I go to grave.”
Written by Darshan Kc Saanku
NEP DATE: 2080 Shrawan 31 Wednesday